When it comes to in-laws, it’s sometimes hard to understand them, and this causes tension. Merging two families is never easy, and so every once in a while we need help getting along. Here are some tips on ways to keep peace with your in-laws.
Understand that they are from a different generation
Often the problems we have with our in-laws are not about our partner but rather come from being from different generations. Your in-laws are bound to be older and this causes tension when you have disagreements about issues in life. If your in-laws are conservative, understand that they come from a time that is different to your own. As such, things that you believe are not necessarily a big deal, may be a big deal to them. There are many moral standpoints that your in-laws have, that you might find unreasonable. Keep in mind they had a different upbringing, hence it’s essential to empathize and eventually getting along with them.
Do it for your partner
Our significant other is the person we know and love the most in this world. If your in-laws are particularly difficult, try to keep in mind that what you do could also affect your partner. If you have a bad relationship with your in-laws it could affect your relationship with your partner, as they may feel the need to choose sides. This puts them in an impossible position as they have to choose between their own parents and the love of their life. Try to avoid this dilemma for your partner by being understanding and respectful towards your in-laws. When they get on your nerves try to be civil as it will help your partner in the long run. This also makes it easier as you are being nice for someone you love rather than just for the sake of peace.
Ask your partner for help
Your partner knows their parents better than anybody else so who better to ask for help than them. Bring it to their attention that you are struggling so that when you are in a situation where you don’t know how to navigate with your in-laws, they can step in to help you and possibly relieve tension. They can also help to teach you which topics to discuss and which topics to avoid beforehand to stop any awkward situations. It’s also a great way to make sure that you feel more confident as the support of your partner can help you to relax and even enjoy your in-laws’ company.
Set healthy boundaries
If your partner is very close to their parents, you may find yourself spending a lot of time with your in-laws. You know yourself better than anyone else and you know your limits. Use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries with your partner so that you can spend enough time with your in-laws to enjoy their company but not so much that you feel overwhelmed and stressed. On family holidays this could be a challenge but if you find yourself getting stressed during the time spent with your in-laws, excuse yourself and take a walk to relax.
It’s difficult to be a newcomer in a family but believe in yourself and just be confident in your charming and lovable character. After all, if your partner loves you, your in-laws can too.